I’m going to treat this blog post as I would a journal. The purpose for it is to sift through my thoughts and emotions that I don’t fully understand yet. Maybe by reading it you’ll learn something too.
So I just finished the documentary called the Alpinist and by the end it made me really emotional.
Spoiler alert, I will reveal what happened in it. So if you want to, go watch it before reading this.
The Alpinist was a movie about a solo climber who was pushing boundaries that no one else had ever seen before. Climbing not only without a rope but on different surfaces like ice and snow. He didn’t need a lot in life except for the experiences he got from climbing, relationships and interacting with nature. He loved what he was doing so much he was willing to die for it.
On top of it all, he didn’t want the camera’s to follow him around and record his achievements. He was doing what he loved and that was that.There is so much power in seeing someone follow their dreams and know what they were put on the earth to do. When he died, that hit pretty hard. Earlier in the documentary I had a feeling it was going to happen, but when it happens, it still shocks you. At the age of 25, he died doing what he loved.
When I think about it, he likely wouldn’t have had it any other way. He knew exactly what he wanted. There are so many of us, myself included, that haven’t gotten to experience that passion yet. I mean he literally slept in a stairwell so he could climb. How many of us would live with barely anything to do what we love? I’d bet less than 99.5% of us.
As I try to put words to my feelings, I guess for me the question is, what would I love to do so much that I would die for it. To be honest, I don’t have an answer for that yet. I do love to learn, grow and bring energy into people’s lives. But would I die for that? That’s something I don’t know.
Would I stay in a job or life where I’m not growing? Where every day is like every other day, and things remain still. In my head as I say that, it seems like a jail to me. But knowing me, to survive, I’d likely find a way through it. Part of me is jealous of his ability to know what he would die for and do it to the absolute max. I wonder if i’ll find what that is in my life, I guess the only way to find out is to continue to grow and see what comes out of it.
I’m still young, and know that life is all about the journey, bringing new stimulus in and seeing how you react to it. It’s really cool to see people who have found what they are here to do. For the rest of us who still don’t know, all we can do is continue to explore and enjoy the journey of life. No matter what that journey is.
At the end of the day, if something doesn’t work for who you are… and you will feel it. You need to start making moves to make changes to that. At your core you know what feels right and what doesn’t. My mind tells me that I need to focus on my full time job and my CJAM marketing business, but my core tells me that I really enjoy Being Bee and writing blogs.
So for now, I’ll live in this middle zone because that is what makes sense logically. Though at some point, I may need to let go of logic and do what feels right.
Have you found what you love doing or taken steps to figuring it out?